Well, anyone who knows me could probably guess that this was
coming. We have tons of great villains
in games. Well rounded villains who are
relatable, lucid ones who are charming and brilliant, and the most scummy ones
who you hate because of how evil they are.
However, here's the thing...when the story does it's job right, you hate
the villain because that's the way it should be. When the story screws up, you hate the villain
because you want to smack the game designer and go "What were you thinking?!" These are 10 villains I utterly despise, but
for all the wrong reasons. Needless to
say, there will be spoilers.
SPOILER WARNING!!!
Satan(Castlevania Lords of Shadow)
I've talked about this one before, so do I really need to go
on? Satan as the final boss of a
Castlevania game?! I mean,
c'mon...where's Dracula?! But, for
completeness sake, let me explain, again, why this is such a stupid decision. First off, he's never been introduced,
mentioned, or even hinted at throughout the 30+ hour game and we're supposed to
care about fighting him at the end? Bull
crap. I know lots of games sometimes do
the fake out, where the main boss you've been fighting gets killed off and a
new guy appears, but it does not make it any less stupid. Also, if Satan is the head baddy, why would
he kill one of the Lords of Shadow?
Because he kills the Lord of Necromancers right at the end of the
game. Finally, by killing the Lord of
Necromancers, Satan ACCIDENTALLY SAVES YOUR LIFE. Gabriel Belmont had been used and tricked by
the Lord of Necromancers all game and had unwittingly come into contact with a
possessed artifact that the Lord of Necromancers could use to kill him. In fact, after you create the item you've
been looking for the whole game, the God Mask, he uses the possessed artifact
to start to kill Gabriel and take the mask as his own. Then Satan kills him and suddenly, your
possessed artifact no longer has a master, so bam, you're saved and you defeat
Satan to win the game. Evil would have
won if the prince of darkness had butted out.
Just pathetic storytelling. I
mean, I was told for over 30 hours that the three Lords of Shadow were my
opponents. In fact, it's in the
title! Yet Satan comes out and just goes
"Fooled ya! I'm the final
boss!" That is just stupid to the
utmost degree.
 |
| The unholy one is a banished servant of the divine. He holds no power, despite believing himself deserving of greatness and is worth more pity than fear. |
Geldoblame (Baten Kaitos series)
For most head scratching appearance, let's give it up for
Emperor Geldoblame. Throughout most of
Baten Kaitos, he is manipulating powerful forces to gather together the pieces
of an ancient god and use them to control the world. Then he gets killed, betrayed by his partner
who is smarter and more nihilistic than he is.
It was a satisfying end for the tyrant, out witted and with his
ambitions in shambles. Then, at the end
of the game after the players have killed the elder god which was summoned and
their homes which had been floating in the sky touch down on the earth, he
appears again. Geldoblame's giant head
made of stone pops out of the ground and attacks the players in a battle they
pretty much can't lose. Why? Why did this need to be here? He had his moment, died for his hubris, but
now we have to fight him again?
Why?! Oh, so the whale can come
here and restore the ocean or something, whatever, alright...it just feels
wasteful and stupid. Geldoblame was a decent
villain...until he came back from the dead as a giant stone head. Then I scratched my head and started hating
him.
 |
| The emperor held great power and ambition, but was ultimately brought low by his own desires. Despite that, he clung to life and the memory of the tyrant was replaced by the memory of a pitiful ghost who could not let go of his greed. |
True form of King Allant (Demons Souls)
I hated Demons Souls.
For a lot of reasons. But that
aside, what annoyed me probably the most is the final boss, which is basically
a slug-like form of King Allant, the man who unleashed catastrophe on his
kingdom and basically started the game.
He sought power and unleashed a monster which merged with and ultimately
corrupted him. He's pathetically weak
and can be slain in a single blow. Now,
I know why that is and I know why we should hate him. We should hate him for his greed and
arrogance and ultimately pity him, for in trying to gain power he doomed
himself to a cursed half existence as a monster, alone in the chamber of the
beast he made a deal with. But really, I
was so annoyed at all this. I'd cursed,
sweated, and struggled through the other dozen or so bosses, each a nightmare
unto themselves, and my final battle was against the "False King" a
truly wicked bastard who killed me a number of times before I dropped him. And then I am told I must go fight the real
monster, the mastermind behind the whole event, and it's just Allant after
become a slug like monster? What a
freakin disappointment! This,
especially, after fighting my way through hundreds of lives to reach the ending. Dark Souls, its sequel, has you fight the
specter of a god who, despite having lost much of his power, can rip you apart if
you're not careful. Not the hardest boss
in the game, but not easy, either. A
climactic battle is what players want, since it makes the ending we fought so
hard for that much sweeter. But for just
being completely pathetic and ultimately leaving a bad taste in my mouth after
such hard work, I hate King Allant. He's
the epitome of pathetic.
 |
| The hanged man was once a king. However, his intense desire for power and his fear made him weak, pitiful, and ultimately destroyed him. All that remains is a shell. To slay him is a mercy. |
Barthandelus (Final Fantasy 13)
I. DESPISE. Barthandelus.
He comes right out of nowhere, has motivations which are not only
selfish, but utterly stupid, he's been spying on the party for most of the
game, manipulating them, and wants them to destroy him and all of
creation. Why? Because the creator of the Fal'cie went away
and they're throwing a fit, so they want to call him back through mass
genocide. Worse is that Barthandelus
kind of makes the entire story irrelevant, since the players are basically in
the palm of his hand from the start and guided by him throughout the
story. However, this opens a huge number
of plot holes. How could he have
predicted the players would be turned into L'cie with the power to destroy all
of creation? How could he have
orchestrated it all when everyone's actions were a comedy of errors? Why, if he wanted you to destroy him, do HIS
soldiers try to corner and kill you for the first FORTY HOURS?! I mean, what would have happened if we'd
lost? If YOUR soldiers actually cornered
and killed us? Did you ever think of
that, Barthandelus? For that matter, why
doe HE fight the players? He's basically
a mechanical god, with immense power, yet he wants the players to kill him and
destroy everything, right? So, why does
he fight? Why not just lay down and take
it? The character is so bland, stupid,
and frustratingly cliche. Even if you
forgive the plot holes, let's just examine the situation closely for one
moment. Despite watching over humanity
for millenia, ruling them in luxury, and basically being worshipped as a god,
Barthandelus wants the main party to set off the apocalypse by killing him just
so he can call his creator back and "Start over". Say that out loud for a moment. Then, join me in saying, "Barthandelus,
you are made of stupid."
 |
| The world ruled over all as a god since time immemorial. However, even this was not enough for him. He desired to return to nothing and start again, if only because he was bored, with no thought to those he would hurt or his children, which he would betray for his own petty desires. |
The White Witch (Ni No Kuni)
This one is so easy it's kind of sad. Ni No Kuni is subtitled "Wrath of the
White Witch." But despite the fact
that the we see the witch "controlling things as a puppetmaster," she
doesn't really do much and is pretty irrelevant to the story until the
last...3-4 hours? She runs a shadowy
council and seems all intimidating and kills our hero Oliver's mom, but...she
isn't the main villain. Oliver and
company don't even know she exists till she announces herself. The main villain for most of the game is
Shadar, the Dark Djinn, who has a much more tragic and satisfying backstory,
far better reasons for being the villain, and a pay off at the end which is
incredibly satisfying. By the time I got
to fight the White Witch, I felt like saying "Why are you here? Bring back Shadar!" She and her council are the final bosses, but
they feel like they shouldn't even be in the game. I mean, the plot could've been altered
slightly to not include her and everything would've worked out fine. Oh, White Witch...why do you even exist?
 |
| The priestess watched over the world from her gilded seat, unwilling to save it but more than willing to condemn it. However, her vanity was such that she would not even rule it...instead giving that honor to her servant. None know the priestess. None care for the priestess. The priestess need not be. |
Maximillian (Growlanswer 2: The Sense of Justice)
Maximillian is actually a pretty interesting villain, but
ultimately he feels shoved in at the last minute and has to be compared to the
much more interesting monster named Gevas.
See, you meet Maximillian at the start of the game, you become friends, then,
on a routine military expedition, you and he discover a cave with an ancient
mask that he takes to go research.
Maximillian wants to rid the world of war and believes anything toward
that goal is just. At the end of the
game, he finds that the mask is a subjugation artifact and that he can use it
to mind control people into not fighting. And, for the sake of justice and free
will, the player must stop him. Here's
the thing, though. For most of the game,
a character named Arrieta, with a dual personality, has acted as the main villain. When cornered, she reveals herself to be
possessed by Gevas, a world crushing monstrosity that the heroes of Growlanswer
1 fought and defeated. Now it's returned
and we have to fight it. And after it's
dead, we then go fight Maximillian. To
me, that just seems kinda pointless. Not
only did we defeat the ultimate evil, but we did it and the game didn't
end...it only ends after we defeat Maximillian?
Lame. Maximillian's plot and his
final boss status seems kinda thrown in at the last moment, but they were
alright. They'd be fine if they didn't
have to compare to Gevas, which we'd already beaten. I hate this battle because the comparison
just kills any tension, as Gevas was a far more final boss.
 |
| Judgement holds his answer as the truth above all others and will bring an end to the cycle of death and rebirth. He seeks to end war, strife, and power, though his means be unjust. The sad truth is that while he may judge, he holds no power compared to the vast will of the world. |
Wilhelm (Xenosaga 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra)
Wilhelm is more baffling to me than hateful. But, in a series with a ton of great
villains, including the space pope, a man who blows his own head off, steps on
it, then regenerates it, a body snatcher, and a space samurai, we have Wilhelm
as the grand mastermind of some vaguely evil scheme. Wilhelm is a CEO of a technology corporation
in the far future, who looks to be about...age fifteen, tops, and has no
emotions. Or if he has them, he doesn't
use them. Wilhelm is boring. And I have no idea why I'm fighting him, save
that he's trying to...destroy the universe?
I guess? And Wilhelm is the main
villain. He has private shock corps made
up of better fallen villains. He pisses
me off because I have no reason to fight him, no reason to be invested, no
reason to even care. He's not even in
the final battle. He uses "The
circle of Zarathustra" which I have no idea what its supposed to do, with
a kid named Abel in the center, to try and kill the party. Wilhelm seems about as bored as I am. That's why I hate him. The best thing a villain can be is
memorable. Some are memorable for good
reasons, some for how lame or annoying they were, but they are still
remembered. The worst thing a villain
can be is boring because no one will remember them.
 |
| The hermit does not indulge to enter the world. He is content to stay back, emotionless, uninterested, holding his philosophy above all others. There is nothing he has to say. There is nothing he has to teach. He may as well return to solitude. |
Yu Yevon (Final Fantasy 10)
This villain is a thief.
As annoying and poncy as Seymour Guado was, he was still a pretty cruel,
sadistic, nihilistic, evil villain, and fitting for the final boss role. But no.
Instead, after fighting our way inside the colossal monster, SIN, which
has rained untold destruction on the world, after putting Jecht to rest and
outwitting the REAL villain, Seymour, we fight...a giant tick. Yu Yevon was a summoner who formed the core
of SIN by corrupting the summoned beasts, Aeons, and using them as an armor for
its soul. But Yu Yevon itself is nothing
without the Aeons. I doubt very much
that its even capable of thought, much less malice. It's a villain that was thrown into the final
enemy slot because...I don't even know.
Players cannot lose the battles with Yu Yevon, no matter how weak they
are. What makes me so angry at this boss
is that, despite how stupid he looked, Seymour
was clearly the main villain. And Square
could have made him the final boss. SIN
was always a threat, yeah, but Yu Yevon wasn't really controlling it, just
hiding inside it. Yu Yevon is a pathetic
waste of a boss, because he barely even exists and doesn't affect the story at
all, save for stealing the final boss status from Seymour, who rightfully
deserves it for all his dickish behavior.
Yu Yevon as a boss is a nonentity.
It's something that exists without reason. That's even worse than being boring.
 |
| The fool is a blind, deaf, idiot, dancing to his own tune, oblivious to the whims of others. He may infuriate or annoy, but it matters not. He is all sound and fury, ultimately accomplishing nothing, save for being a nuisance. |
Xemnas (Kingdom Hearts 2)
Ultimately, I feel like miscasting was the downfall of
Xemnas. He's not really a bad villain,
but he's so bland, generic, and boring that I can't help but yawn. He uses his light saber swords, fights Sora
and Riku, then disappears into nothingness, blah blah...we had so many other
more interesting members of Organization 13 who could've taken the number 1
spot. Saix was interesting and his
relationship to Axel would've made him a moving final antagonist. And his death, where he laments his lost
heart and asks where it has gone is pretty heavy, for a villain dying. If not him, why not Xigbar, who actually
fought the original Keyblade masters in Birth by Sleep? He seems more capable than Xemnas. But no, Ansem's nobody had to be the final
battle. It depresses me because you do
so many cool things in the battle, but Xemnas as a villain is so blah. He's just there. He doesn't make an impression like Xehanort
did, doesn't have any really good lines and is constantly being one upped by
his subordinates. Xemnas. So boring his battle almost killed me by
putting me to sleep.
 |
| The nothingness holds no substance or value. Merely a cheap copy of the truth, it has no reason to be here, save that it was recognized. Though the idea of nothingness may intrigue others, it is without any lasting power. |
Zachariah Comstock (Bioshock Infinite)
Originally, I had intended to include Demon King Malladus
from Legend of Zelda: Spirit tracks...however, then I played Bioshock
Infinite. Literally the week before this
post was to go up, I discovered one of the most frustrating and annoying
villains I've ever seen in a video game.
Zachariah Comstock, the "prophet" of Columbia, a floating city in the sky. I hate Comstock because, as a villain, I just
want him to go away. Not kill him, mind,
I just want him to leave the story. He is
a loud, annoying, narcissistic, psychotically religious hypocrite with none of
the charm and intellect of Andrew Ryan or the warped ideals of Sofia Lamb. Comstock has NOTHING of value to say, but
keeps going on and on about how he is the chosen one, how he will cleanse the
sodom below, how everyone who is against him is against god, stock religious
super villain nonsense. And he seems so
insecure, frequently building monuments the size of islands to his greatness when
he cannot fight himself. He's a frail
old man who uses machines and his zealots, who are idiots for following him by
the way, to do his dirty work for him.
At the best of times, he seems like he's using religion to his benefit,
like any number of scam priests in stories.
At the worst of times, he seems pants on head insane, believing whole
heartedly that stealing a baby from an alternate dimension, raising her in
isolation, and frequently beating, torturing, maiming, and brainwashing her as
an adult is somehow god's will and will save the world. Comstock isn't compelling, intelligent, or
even very well spoken. He's an insane
religious zealot with an inferiority complex.
Worse yet is that his character, when we learn the truth, makes
absolutely no sense, as he actually didn't used to be Zachariah Comstock, but
was another person. A smart person. A capable person. A person who WASN'T pants on head insane. Comstock ruined Bioshock Infinite for me.
 |
| The heirophant's arrogance knows no bounds. He believes himself divinely blessed by god and will justify any atrocities in that name. He says nothing of merit and is insecure in his own power. Only a fool devoid of thought would follow his words. |
And there
you have it. These characters fail for a
number of reasons, most relating to story and writing, sadly. Any number of them could have been
unforgettable main villains who embedded themselves in people's minds as
amazing, well spoken, scary even, if they had a better script to work with or
if the story was more refined. Place
Maximillion before the huge final boss battle...have Seymour Guado kill Yu
Yevon and take his place inside SIN.
Have Satan at least HINTED at to some extent in the game. Give Comstock ANYTHING interesting to discuss
beyond how awesome it is to be a racist Catholic white man with a god
complex. These villains weren't brought
low by our heroes. They were brought low
by the scriptwriters, the translators, and the story boarders who failed
them. Failed to make them compelling and
instead opted for shock value or to cop out near the end of the game.
There you
have my month of characters. Each of the
character lists show an important aspect of the games industry, some that need
to be focused on, like making compelling villains, admirable heroes, or great
worlds to explore, and some that need to be stopped, such as making the
villains so depressingly generic or unsatisfying. Bear in mind, these characters are all just
from my experience. If you want, share
in the comments some of your favorite heroes, villains, power fantasies, or
characters you just can't stand and why.
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