Saturday, January 25, 2014

Memorial: For Justin "JewWario" Carmical


Okay...so, tonight I discovered that an inspiration to me in the realm of video games passed on Thursday, January 23, 2014.  It's been a tragedy to everyone because it was so unexpected and so shocking.
We miss you Justin.
Justin "JewWario" Carmical was a proponent of video games of all kinds, but especially imports.  He didn't believe that language should be a barrier to people enjoying good video games.  Now, I never got to meet Justin personally, but he inspired me in a number of ways.  Other people have, or are at this moment, holding memorials for him.  I don't have a wide audience and only a few people, probably just those I know, check out my blog.  But I wanted to give my own thoughts, share my own memories, and try to honor him in my own way.
JewWario was my introduction to importing.

JewWario was someone I discovered through That Guy With the Glasses.  He was a member of their team for a long time before parting ways with the group and appeared in numerous crossovers.  He was featured in their big movies, Kickassia, Suburban Knights, and To Boldly Flee.  JewWario was always very sporadic in these videos, being happy, funny, and entirely unpredictable, but above all else, someone you just loved to watch.  And that's why I looked into his other stuff.  Because I did enjoy watching him.
This was how I first saw JewWario.  He wasn't one of the lead actors...just the guy in the back.  But he was so fun, so earnest, so innocent and yet so passionate...
I've never been a big fan of the import scene.  I knew of it, I knew that Japan had plenty of games that never reached America, but JewWario was the person who stood up to the internet and said You Can Play This.  And that became his flagship series.  YCPT.  He would talk about games that featured no English translations and yet were still fun and enjoyable.  I frequently watched these videos just for JewWario, because he was such a quiet, but earnest man.  His passion was in his love for the games and he shared that with everyone, even if, at first, his skills were limited.  That's what really struck you about his videos...the passion.  He wanted everyone to be able to enjoy these great games.

For me, that has kind of become his legacy.  JewWario was always enjoyable to watch, however a part of me always wanted to play the games he'd show off.  Osu Tatakae, Ouendan in particular was very interesting, as was the One Piece fighter he presented.  Eventually, I started to think, genuinely, that I COULD play Japanese games, even if my skills in Japanese were less than perfect.  So, when I went to Japan, I made a point to, before I left, buy some Japanese games.  I wish I'd bought more, because I COULD and DID play these games and I loved them.  I got One Piece Gigant Battle 2, Culdcept DS, and the two Osu Tatakae Ouendan games.  Not a lick of English in these titles, but I could still play them, hell, I dropped at least 30 hours into One Piece.  I struggled with Culdcept, but I got through it.  And at the end of the day, it made me wish for more.  I have at least 4 or 5 current games that are Japanese that I want to play, which I will play, because I know I can play them.
This was released while I was actually in Japan and I bought it, day one, because JewWario convinced me that, yes, I could play it.  And I did.
I'd heard about this game through Elite Beat Agents, but my love for Japanese culture, along with that little extra push, helped me to get, play, and beat this game.
I always loved Culdcept, but never got to play the original, so when I saw it on a shelf in a Japanese Midori, I convinced myself that I'd get through it...that I COULD get through it.  And I could and did.
If anything, I wish I could have seen more of JewWario's work, because I know he streamed as well as putting out videos.  I wish I could have met the man in person and told him that he helped broaden my horizons in the world of gaming.  But I can't now.  So, even if it's just this one post, a part of me wants to keep his legend alive, because he changed a lot of people, myself included.  No one has had a bad word to say about JewWario who knew him.  And he always made sure to let other know that he cared for them.  His loss diminishes us all...

I have to encourage everyone to keep Justin's wife Jen in your thoughts and prayers, not just now, but always, because this kind of thing...the hurt never goes away.  Not entirely.  And offer her any help you can give, because this kind of thing isn't just emotional damage...

I want everyone to remember the man and his legacy.  Below are the links to his website and his videos, as well as a charity drive for his family and friends.  I encourage everyone to give it a look.

You Can Play This
Blip
Youtube
Charity Drive

Justin Carmical.  You were an inspiration, not just to me but to millions on the internet.  The man has passed, but the legend will live on, so long as we keep it alive.  Remember the man who loved games and carried a passion, a humor, and an earnest respect for all games and all people. 

May we one day meet, you beautiful soul, when our own times have come.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Video Game Growing Pains Awards 2013



Greetings and salutations!  Seeing as it's a brand new  year, I felt it important to, as with last year, totally copy all the other reviewers out there and make a best/worst list.  Yes, I know, I'm a hack.  Moving on, this list will consist of three categories of games that I played in 2013.  Some of these came out in 2013, some just need mentioning...just because.  Also, this list is purely subjective, so if you disagree with me, fine, disagree.  Better yet, comment and explain to me your perspective.  I'm genuinely curious.  Anyway, let's take a look at the best, worst, and most WTF?! games for me of 2013.
Worst
            Which games made me sad, angry, or just plain frustrated?  This list is all about games I wish I hadn't bought, wish I hadn't played, wish...hadn't been, really.

Worst Identity Crisis: Bioshock Infinite(PS3/Xbox360/PC)
            Starting off controversial, huh?  Don't I always?  Let's get this out of the way.  Bioshock Infinite is a critical darling.  And I can't stand it.  Most of this stems from my distaste for the plot, which focuses on the concept of hyper time.  Hyper time basically posits that all decisions made by anyone creates a split parallel universe where the opposite decision was made.  I think this is handled very poorly, especially through the ending, and just frustrated me.  However, even without that thorn in my side, this game still would have made my worst list.  Why?  Because it doesn't know what kind of game it wants to be, really.  
Be Halo or be Biocshock...at least commit to SOMETHING.
            There are a lot of elements of the first two Bioshocks in this game, like scavenging in trash for food and coin, comboing plasmids and weapons for greater effects, moral ambiguity, audio logs, etc.  However, the game plays very much like a Halo clone.  You have a regenerating shield, you have a stock array of military weapons, from pistol, to shot gun, to RPG, to machine gun, and you are only allowed a two gun load out.  Putting aside personal preference, whether you like the two gun load out of Infinite or the carry as many guns as you want of the previous two, the fact that they couldn't decide on how it plays...whether the pace should be interrupted to scavenge or whether you were pressed for time...whether you should become skilled with one weapon or, in case the enemies don't drop ammo for it, just be an all rounder...it says to me the developers didn't want to commit for fear of alienating...well...ANY potential buyer.  And the game is weaker for it.  The tone of the story clashes with the actions taken by the player.  The style of play in down situations clashes with the style of play in fire fights.  Even the gameplay seems torn, as the improvements made to Bioshock's plasmid/weapon system in Bioshock 2 were either forgotten or excised for Infinite.
This was what we were promised...what we got was a game that didn't know what it wanted.
            I just wish Infinite was more consistent...if it were more consistently Bioshock, I'd have liked it more.  If it were more consistently Halo or some other modern military shooter, I'd have stayed away and been happier for it.
 
Most Boring/Pointless Grind: Skyrim Legendary Edition(PS3/Xbox360)
            I started playing Skyrim wanting to love it...and ended up feeling kinda empty and bored by the end.  I played Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion to death.  5 full playthroughs.  It was a colorful game that made me feel like I was on a grand adventure, that each item I got was unique and that some should be kept or stored rather than sold, that each situation was different, special, and fun.  And Skyrim felt like a grind to me.  First, yes, Skyrim is an amazing game.  It greatly improves the combat of Oblivion, adds in some more options, improves graphics with a new engine, and gives the players more freedom and choice.  However, in doing some of this, other changes were made that kind of turned the game into a slow, boring grind.
We're all just slaves to the grind
            The inclusion of a skill points system, with perks, was a positive change from Oblivion, but because armor, potions, and enchanting were tied to it, often times players had to grind out skill points to get the best stuff, unless they wanted to face vastly over powered enemies...and this was boring. 

"Okay, I bought a thousand iron ingots and leather strips and made a few hundred swords!"

"Congratulations!  You gained 10 skill points.  Do another thousand and you can make NEW armor.  Now, let me take those swords and give you money."

"What should I do with the money?"

"Why, buy more materials...to make more SWORDS!"

Yeah, to me it just felt kinda like a pointless slog.  Added onto that, the game has serious loading issues on a console, is very glitchy, and...really, there was no great reward at the end.  At the end of Oblivion, the gates to Oblivion were sealed...you could tell a tangible difference in the game, because you no longer got ganged up on by otherworldly beasts and there were no more red skies.  In this game...you kill a dragon, other dragons still exist for you to grind out materials on...nothing has changed.  The game is also very modern...by that I mean, washed out colors, lots of grey, white, brown, black...Oblivion was colorful and vibrant, a place I wanted to explore and enjoy.  Every mine and every dungeon of Skyrim just made me more and more bored and question why I put so much time into it.  This even extends to the maps and menus.  Oblivion had an old world, parchment like menu theme, for maps, skills, etc.  Skyrim goes for a semi-clear, bland, boring look to the map and menu screens.
This would have made the grind all worth while...cept this was just an awesome mod for PC versions.  Console gamers got left out.
            Let me just say, this ONLY applies to console versions of Skyrim.  PC versions are much better.  The inclusion of mods allows players to experience a fuller, more enjoyable game, such as with the High King of Skyrim mod, which feels like what I should have gotten for beating the game regularly.  You would still have quests to do, but you have the authority of a king to fall back on, to belittle, build up, or just mess with your subjects to your own enjoyment.
            For me, it was a grind...and grinds can be fun, but Skyrim was not.  It gave me no real feeling of changing the world or its people...everything was pretty much the same at the end of the game as the start.  A dragon and a few extra people were dead, but...no real change to the world at large.

Game That Loves to Give Players the Middle Finger:  FTL(PC)
            I hate FTL.  Some friends of mine encouraged me to try this starship simulator and, to their credit, it was pretty fun for a while.  However, FTL is a roguelike game done poorly.  Roguelikes frequently have you die and have to start over from scratch, however one of the cornerstones, in my opinion, of a good roguelike game is incremental progress.  You get better as a player, you get small rewards to make your next playthrough different or more enjoyable, etc.  Spelunky does this with unlockable shortcuts, players, and by slowly teaching you skills needed to survive through trial and error.  Rogue Legacy does this by allowing you to purchase new weapons, classes, or stat upgrades after each death that you keep.  FTL...doesn't really do this at all.  If you are SUPER lucky, you can have an event which may unlock a new starship.  These events are few and far between, though, and most players will be damned lucky to ever see one.  I've dropped at least 30 hours into FTL and only unlocked three of it's twelve ships...yeah...
Get used to seeing this.  FTL screws you.  A lot.
            FTL just wastes my time, largely because it is so random and luck based.  Now, lots of roguelikes are random and luck based, but FTL, regardless of your skill, can and will kill you with random events for no reason.  No matter how skilled you are, it will just end you...and to me, this is bad game design, because it wastes the player's time and isn't fun.  Others may enjoy it, but I don't.  You may as well roll a set of dice and end the game immediately unless you roll anything but snake eyes.  The game gleefully kills you and wastes your time, with no real lessons being learned and no progress being made.

Egregious Backpedaling: Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time(PS3)
            I am a HUGE Sly Cooper fan.  Alongside the Jak and Ratchet and Clank games, it was one of the finest platformers of the PS2 era and I was super sad that it wasn't making the jump to the PS3.  However, when it did, I was psyched.  I grabbed this beauty up and played it right away, and...it wasn't BAD, but...it felt like a huge step back for the series.
Bentley's expression says it all.  WTF, Sly Cooper.

            First, the plot...it is hugely contrived and turns fun characters we loved into enemies for the sake of getting our main cast back together.  This pissed me off, as we saw a series favorite turn evil for...really no reason.  It.  Made.  Me.  Angry.  Putting that aside, though, there was just a general lack of variety in missions, in my opinion.  Granted, there were a few interesting ones based on new outfits Sly Cooper could wear, such as deflecting projectiles with samurai armor or making huge leaps with a sabertooth tiger rug, but...the general play felt lackluster.  We also had the return of clue bottles, which were included in the first Sly game, however with no map, radar, or other way to find them, digging them up in each hub world became a chore...the first 28 are easy.  The last 2 are impossible.  It was just a ton of amateur mistakes and step backs.
            Sly 4 rubbed me the wrong way...it's not a bad game, but it was a huge step back for the franchise...and that makes me sad.

Honorable Mention: Resistance 3(PS3)
            Once again, Resistance 3 isn't REALLY a bad game.  It's got some fun weapons, interesting enemies and gunplay, and while the story is boring, it was a pretty enjoyable ride.  HOWEVER!  Not only did this game have to dump several gigabytes into my PS3 before I could play it, when I tried to erase it to make room for other stuff, the data corrupted and now it's stuck.  This game was glitchy and had issues with pacing, but that was the nail in its coffin for me.  It doesn't deserve a title under my worst list, but I have to bring it up.  First Sly is handed off to a new team, now Insomniac botches it's PS3 shooter...what's happening to game developers these days?
You done me wrong, Resistance 3...you done me wrong.

Best
            Okay, the depressing worst is out of the way, so let's move onto a few games that I absolutely ADORE!  These games made my year bright, fun, and were true reminders of why I play video games at all.

Delicious blend of genres and themes: Sang-Froid(PC)
            Fun fact.  I spent January 2013 in Montreal.  November 2013, after Steam's fall sale, I got this game and gave it a try.  Oh.  My.  God.  Sang-Froid is a wonderful blend of separate elements that come together in a gloriously silly, wholly unique experience.  Sang-Froid is a story about two lumberjack brothers in Canada who have to protect their sister and neighbors from Werewolves, skin changing Inuit, Wendigos, and the Devil himself.  TotalBiscuit calls this the most Canadian game ever and that's not a bad thing at all.  The new twist on a familiar story, the interesting cultural references and differences, and the strange characters and names that could only come from our friends to the north, accents and all, make this a very memorable play.  However, what sold me was the gameplay.
Yes.  You kill ice demons with a magic axe, a musket, and a ballista.  This game is made of Canadian win.
            The gameplay is divided between a strategy section and an action section.  In the strategy section, you can set traps, some automatic, some you need to activate, you can chop lumber for money, you can buy items or check the movement paths of the waves of wolves, etc.  In the action section, you take those traps and information you gained during the strategy section and try to defend your home.  Not only can players rely on their traps, but they can also fight with axe and musket, making this an interesting blend of action/hacknslash/strategy/rpg/canadian game.  It's great fun.  The voice acting and story can be a bit off or cheesy or stilted, but it kind of lends to the game's charm.  It's dark and serious, but also a bit silly, like an old B movie.  And I love it, for blending a fun story, Canadian culture, and rock solid, super fun gameplay together.

Valentine's Came Early: Pandora's Tower(Wii)
            The last game of Operation Rainfall came out in 2013 and...it was a bit of a Zelda clone.  But my god, what a fun clone it was.  This game features our hero, Aeron traversing several dungeons, killing enemies, and getting new items for the sake of a cursed girl named Elena...yeah, sounds familiar.  However, it really is a fun play.  The chain you are given at the beginning is both weapon and tool and it's just as fun to swing around or grab distant items with as it is to tear chunks of your enemy off with it.
How can I love a monster?  Pretty easy, when she's as wonderful as Elena.
            While the combat is fun, what really sold me on this was the relationship dynamic.  You have Aeron killing monsters and giving meat to Elena, who is a vegetarian, but has to eat or she will turn into a monster.  It's an interesting, subtle bit of character study, between these two friends who slowly grow closer, but also more distant due to Elena's curse.  The game reflects this with a stock relationship meter, but Elena really is an endearing character who works with Aeron rather than being his reward or his burden.  The game does have a few glitches and is at times a but frustrating, but for the characters and for how fun it is living in their world, I have to put it on my best list.

Fantastic, in Spite of Abysmal Publicity: Dragon's Crown(PS3)
            Dragon's Crown has had an unfortunate series of public shamings.  The flame war between producer George Kamitani and Jason Schrier of Kotaku, the examination of character art by Jim Sterling and TotalBiscuit, the decrying by both reviewers and gamers for how the art style or depictions of women interferes with the game...it's been a bad time to be Dragon's Crown.  In spite of all that, it has managed to do very well.  Selling a good amount is one thing, but Dragon's Crown is also a fantastic game.
Not your proudest moment, Mr. Kamitani -_-u

            Make no mistake, some of the complaints made by the above personalities are valid.  Hell, I've made similar complaints here.  The Sorceresses design is sexist and frustrating, the Amazon has some unfortunate animation choices, and oversexualized women of the fantasy genre are front and center.  However, it's still a great game.  Six characters, each with a different style of play, in a world that is full of strange beasts, myriad treasures, and awe inspiring sights.  It's a joy to play and I've sunk at least 80 hours into it, completing all 6 character campaigns and beating the final secret boss.  It's been a fun ride and in spite of all the negative publicity that Dragon's Crown has...well...rightfully received, it is still a great game.
In spite of the controversy, the game is still beautiful and plays like a dream.
            Some people may not be able to get over the art style, and that's fine, but it is still something I heartily enjoyed.  I wasn't bothered by the art because I was too busy trying to stay alive fighting cyclopian monstrosities, wicked demons, and the fearsome fire dragon.

Best Bang For the Buck: Rage of the Gladiator(Wii)
            Welp, this was a surprise.  I'd heard about Rage of the Gladiator on the Wii for a while, but only recently got a chance to play it.  It's...pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.  The game plays a lot like Punch Out on the Wii, with various enemies appearing and attacking with specific patterns that you need to block, dodge, attack against, or what have you.  The kicker here is that the enemies are all monsters, like goblins, beholders, magicians, minotaurs, etc. and it's super fun getting to fight them all.
You take on dragons and demons Punch Out style...need I say more?
            There are two modes of play, basic and challenge, and they both scale up the difficulty very well.  There is a skill tree that requires some sacrifices to get what you want.  There is also one of the best things to ever exist in a Wii game.  The option not to use the Wiimote.  It's a game that very much uses Wii motion controls, however you can select a classic controller or just the Wiimote held side ways if you want.    These options allow the game to be played by both the hardcore and the casual alike and really feels like it should have been a full on retail release rather than a 15 dollar downloadable title.
            Rage of the Gladiators is what all Wii downloadable games should be.  It's fun, it's got a lot of content, it's got a lot of options, and it may just be the best Wii game that no one has ever played.

Honorable Mention: Dark Souls(PS3/Xbox360/PC) & Ni No Kuni(PS3)
            Yep, two honorable mentions for Best.  While I am getting more and more jaded with the games industry, this has been a pretty great year.  I played Dark Souls the most last year, but because it frustrated me, I kept it off my best/worst list...and that was unfair, because I've easily sunk over 200 hours into it.  Dark Souls is a fantastic game, mixing moody old school challenge with brilliant graphics that make even the dark or dreary beautiful and well honed design placing control almost completely in the player's hands.  I love this game...almost as much as I hate it.  But...I felt others deserved the mention...especially since I'm now waiting for Dark Souls 2 to come out.
Intimidating, frustrating, but oh so satisfying to conquer...Dark Souls in a nutshell.
            And Ni No Kuni...this would have been my game of the year if not for the crappy control scheme in combat.  It should have been a regular turn based RPG.  That's basically what it is, only you can only control one character, the others have crummy AI, and it goes in real time, so the game doesn't give you a lot of room to rest/mess up/think.  Which is frustrating, since Ni No Kuni is amazing in all other respects.  The villain is amazing...well, except for the White Witch.  Shadaar is amazing.  Let's say that.  Ahem.  Anyway, the graphics are fantastic, with cut scenes by Studio Ghibli.  The dialogue is actually worthy of mention, since it's tame enough for kids, but not painful for adults.  The creature raising mechanic is fun, if in need of a bit more polish/speeding up, and the quest and crafting systems, as well as the wizard hand book you get near the start of the game are great for immersion, world building, and overall fun.  The combat rubbed me the wrong way and that's why it's not on my best list, but Ni No Kuni is a damn fine game.  I just wish it were better, so I could heap more praise on it.
So close to perfect!  If only the combat had been fixed TT_TT

WTF?
            Some games are just...weird.  Or deserving of more than just an arbitrary good or bad rating.  They deserve a new perspective.  So, let's look at these WTF titles and see what craziness was heaped onto use this year.  Also, confession time, these are all great games...I just wanted to talk about them and couldn't fit them into my other lists.  They are certainly strange though.  Trust me.

Game You Love to Hate to Love: Hearthstone
            I hate Hearthstone.  I love Hearthstone.  I...have an odd relationship with Hearthstone.  It's basically a free to play version of the World of Warcraft card game.  It's not perfect by any means, as it's still in beta and still being balanced, but it is a ton of fun.  However, it's probably the only game besides Dark Souls that I scream at, at the top of my lungs, and yet still want to go back to.  It's frustrating, but there are moments of supreme bliss, like when you pull that one card you need in a match.
Yu-gi-oh: Warcraft edition.  Insanely frustrating.  Insanely fun.
            The real reason Hearthstone makes it on my list though is because it's...the way a free to play game should be.  It basically gives you a Yu-gi-oh starter deck and tells you to go unlock the others by playing with the one you have.  Then it tells you to play more and unlock the structure deck cards.  Then it tells you to earn gold and buy booster packs for all the rest of the cards.  If you don't want to earn gold through daily quests, you can buy with real money...but you don't have to.  You can play the game, make good strategies, meet friends or tough opponents, all without spending a penny.  In fact, the shop is just a tiny icon near the bigger play ones and the game only tells you it's there once.  It never badgers you for money and if you are actually about to spend real money, Hearthstone says "Wait a minute...are you SURE?!  You know you'll be spending real money, right?"  It's very honest for a free to play game.  And yet, supremely well polished.  It has a few glitches here and there but it's a balanced game that works well.  With the promise of more to come, I have to say it's probably my game of the year for 2013.  It made me fall in love with collectible card games again, but isn't being a huge drain on my wallet like Yu-gi-oh or Magic the Gathering were.  It's a fantastic title and once it goes open beta, I heartily recommend it to any card gamers in the world.  You won't be sorry.
Come and play a game or two beside the hearth, friend.
THE WIIMOTE ACTUALLY WORKS: Trauma Team
            I've been an apologist for motion controls in the past.  however, the truth is, they don't really work as well as a regular controller or mouse and keyboard in terms of input and probably never will.  However, Trauma Team...Trauma Team makes me question that truth.  It's a fantastic little Wii title that uses only motion controls and uses them well.  Part of the well established Trauma Center series, it focuses on surgeons who have to save patients from everything from regular transplants or lacerations to a brand new super virus.  However, this one focuses on a team of doctors at a specific hospital.  One is early response and can only use certain tools due to having to be on the go, while another performs bone cutting, setting, and makes braces.  Another uses an endoscope to look through a person's body from the viewpoint of a snake while another does triage to determine the malady a patient has.  Each of these doctors uses tools that the Wii mote substitutes as or in the case of triage or mortician, acts like a mouse pointer in a point-and-click game.  And it works.  It works amazingly well.  The wiimote is very accurate, but more than that, it also feels natural doing all the things that the doctor's do.
Even diagnosing an illness feels natural...on the WII!  That is amazing.

            The game isn't perfect, mind.  It can get quite hard in places and the triage and mortician sections are much longer than the surgeries, since they follow the same rules of point-and-click titles, namely, "What the hell do I do now?!"  There are also some odd story bits, like the bone surgeon having a side job as a super hero or the endoscope user having a butler who she regularly shoots arrows at and who can wield a samurai sword.  Hell, the head surgeon is a prisoner sentenced to serve 120 years in a biological freezer.  Yeah, it's a weird title, but the story is surprisingly heartfelt and compelling and the gameplay is just plain fun.  I highly recommend.  If more games like Trauma Team came out, we'd probably be heaping praise on motion controls rather than wishing for their death.
From right to left.  Biker chick, best friend is a robot, talks to ghosts, 120 year sentence prisoner, samurai endoscope doctor, costumed superhero.  So...yeah...the cast is a bit strange.
Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Grandson: Rogue Legacy
            What does one even say about Rogue Legacy?  Fantastic roguelike?  Check.  Enjoyable little Metroidvania-esque game?  Check.  Most likely to make you go WTF IS UP WITH THIS CHARACTER?!  Ehehe...check.  This is a fun, interesting little roguelike game where you build up stats and unlock new classes by gaining money inside a castle and then try and kill the four main bosses to unlock the final one.  The story is okay, but really, what people came to this game for were the wacky, insane descendents system.  See, each time you die in this game, your son/daughter takes your place.  You get the choice of three, each with a random job, power, and...handicap?  Players have different unique traits about them, like the ability to only see the world in sepia tone because they are "nostalgic" or they fart every few seconds because they have irritable bowl syndrome.  Some are actually quite useful, like the inability to set off spike traps because they are "Light on their feet" or more amusingly, excitable, meaning that each hit they take claims to be thousands of points more damage than it really is.  This game truly does offer an interesting and unique look at roguelikes and Castlevania-esque games with this mechanic.  It's weird, but oh so fun and silly.  What other game can you have an amnesiac, gay, daughter?  Or a short sighted, dyslexic, old man for a son?
Even the greatest of Knights can have irritable bowel syndrome
2013's Shortest Game: Tiny Barbarian DX
            First game I ever kickstarted.  Tiny Barbarian DX is a super fun throwback to the NES era of games.  It's got arcade gameplay and while challenging, doesn't use a lives system that arbitrarily throws you back or ends your game after a certain number of deaths.  It's wonderful at showing with actions and expressions rather than dumping exposition and it's all around a very fun title.  It's also less than an hour long.  For a $10 game on steam.  Usually, I wouldn't even pay half that much for such a game.  But Tiny Barbarian DX won me over.  Its music, its aesthetic, its gameplay...it's a strange little title, for being so short, but it's surprisingly enjoyable.  I have to recommend this to any old school fans of chip tunes, Conan the Barbarian, and NES gameplay.  While short, it's worth it...though I have to wonder how this game gets a digital for profit release and Maldita Castilla is free.  Then again, different strokes for different folks.
Conan would be proud, even if the game is short...or rather...tiny...
Honorable Mention: Dragon Quest 9: Sentinels of the Starry Night Sky
            I played this game to death all the way back in 2011.  And then I bought it again this year to play it again.  Yes, really.  So, now I own 2 copies of DQ9.  Why?  Cause there's only one save slot and with the DQ9 wi-fi store being shut down I didn't want to wipe my old game or my old items.  I'd rather keep those and all the quests I beat and just buy a new DQ9 to play through for fun.  And I did.  And it was fun.  But...yeah, looking back...wtf was I thinking?  Either way, still just as fun now as when I first played it.
Yes.  Yes I am DQ9.  So nice, I bought you twice.
             Welp, that rounds out 2013.  Thanks again to any and all fans for sticking with me and I can only hope I will be able to enrage you further in 2014.  I have about 2-4 articles I'm sitting on for one reason or another and really do want to get out, but my time is seldom my own, so that's why I've not had much output.  This list was just plain fun for me, though, so that's why it's out before anything else.

            Anyway, give the good games a try and the bad games the middle finger.  And remember to enjoy 2014.  Life is short...so game on.